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Flablingo History

 

For many years, Flablingos© were thought to be a mythical creature only found in arts and crafts stores or on certain tee-shirts and bags. Scientists, thanks to a very large grant from our government, sought out the truth behind this obscure creature.

Calling themselves Flablingologists©, these scientists searched the globe as well as various historical records and sites (not just on the internet) in search of this illusive creature. Some thought that they were in luck or on a "hot lead" when they discovered sequins or rhinestones arranged like a flamingo on various tee-shirts on Ebay. This lead them down a dark and lonely path only to discover that like an over washed rhinestoned Tee-shirt, the lead fell apart.

Flablingo Dictionary

Flablingo: Once a Flamingo, never again.
Flablingologist: Those that study Flablingos
Flablingo Nest: Flablingo Egg Holder
Flablingo Egg: Sparkley!
Infamous Flablingologist: 2 very strange people you do not want to know about.

Inspiriation came from a misleading document that was completely misread. It was thought that Abraham Lincoln was reported to have recieved his inspiration for his Gettysburg Address when he stumbled upon four score and 70 Flablingos© grazing in a field. After the Flablingologist cleaned his glasses and reread the entry in the historical document, it was found that this was completely incorrect. This document is now on file in the National Flablingo Archives© under the reference of Hysterical reference Documents. It should be noted that the Flablingologist© who came up with is been stripped of their title and now works in a remote portion of Africa cleaning Flamingo Poop off of the rocks.

As chance would have it after all leads went cold, 2 infamous Flablingologists©, whose names we can not mention (you really do not want to know), were inspired by a special event to redouble their search and investigations. The event was a trip to visit a Flablingo© non believer and his believing wife. The inspiration came one morning when the sun streamed into their house and perchance a ray of sunshine hit her fancy-schmancy Bling collection. There on the wall in brilliant colors was the words... " if you believe in the power of bling, so shall you find what you seek". This was an awe inspiring event. The 2 Flablingologists© got down on their knees and said the obvious "we believe in the power of bling! We Believe!". For 2 years after this event, nothing happened.

Then 2 years later, when planning another visit to the same 2 people it hit them them like a deranged flamingo attempting to land. We're searching the wrong areas. We're searching armed with the wrong information. Armed with "where are they?" and "do they exist?", the Flablingologists realized they had been asking the wrong questions. (what is wrong with us, was more like it)

A few late nights later and a few Bloody Marys, they discovered the knowledge needed to find these elusive creatures. (ok, it was more than just a few Bloody Marys but we will never admit to that.) Due to copyright and intellectual property regulations, we can not divulge this information. But we can however tell you the following story:

Part of the knowledged discovered was that we had to learn Flamingoese. Like the legendary Dr. Doolittle, we learned how to talk with Flamingos. Most of their conversations were boring. They're color blind and keep referring to themselves as "the grays". Whatever this meant. We discovered that within their midst was a legend of 2 flamingos named Moisha and Shimca. (they are not Jewish, as that their religious beliefs are nothing like human religious beliefs, theirs is something vague about a Pinata, we decided not go into more on this)

As the story is told, Moisha and Shimca were two reguar Flamingos content with what Flamingos do everyday. When they migrated to new grounds, there in the mud where they landed was an artifact of great intrigue (a Vogue magazine). Shimca immediately began to study this artifact and kept pestering Moisha with things like "wow those creature sure know how to live, look at they way they sparkle". Flamingos have no word for "bling" in their vocabulary, but they were about to find one.

After continuously looking over and commenting on the artifact, Moisha decided that his mate needed to find some of this sparkly things for herself. Moisha decided to take Shimca away on a pilgrimage to find out more about the sparkley things. As legend has it, they flew and searched for many years until they found the answers they searched for. It was on their way back to the flock when they stopped near a store window. Actually the sun shining through this stores window hit various bling items on display. It attracted them , so they landed. "The colors, the sparkly things are speaking to me", Shimca said to her mate as they landed. Promptly walking over to where the multicolored and brightly shown reflections were on the ground, Shimca started hearing one word. One word that changed her and Moisha forever. That word was Bling. As she stood in the glow of the bling, she repeated again and again, "I believe in the bling, I belive in the bling". Miracoulously, Shimca was transformed on the spot into a Flablingo©.

Not wanting to be different or without his mate, Moisha also walked into the sparkly glow that enveloped Shimca. he too started to repeat the same words, "I believe in the bling, I believe in the bling". Like Shimca before him, he too was transformed into a Flablingo©.

Thus as many years and migratory patterns past by generations of Flamingos, handed down through out the ages is this story of the first Flablingo©. Because they are different and stand out (actually the sun shining off of a Flablingo© is blinding, they exihiled them) , the decendants of Moisha and Shimca live a life all to themselves.

 

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